HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I admit I had some holiday blues, but I am very very thankful for the Ilocandia trip with my family. Suddenly all the troubles were washed away. There's excitement and nervousness. There's passion. Miracles are experienced in unexpected places.

This ilocandia trip with family is a first. First time to go Ilocos Norte, and first time to spend Christmas traveling. I also shouldered the cost. I'm so happy just seeing my own family happy.

Now as I write this, most of the cooking for the media noche has been done. All the panghandas were nor dutifully prepared except for the ham in the oven. My parents retreated upstairs while my brother and cousins are singing videoke. I on the other hand chose to sit down and write stuff. Shall I write the obligatory review? why the hell not?

I'm happy. 2010 was a fabulous year.

financially

physically

careerwise

travel

self improvement

investment

2011 will see me driving my own car

winning awards

traveling to more new places

continue paying for my investment

having a healthier lifestyle

improving in my craft

making films and tv shows

meeting the right guy'

THANK YOU LORD!!!

christmas season

i just came home from a raket. because i had to rush to get to this raket, i had to forego joining the abs-cbn tv prod party.

it's christmas but i feel that there is something missing, it's so palpable. the sadness. don't get me wrong, my career is fine, i am making money, family is ok but there is some blues going on and yet i don't know where it is coming from.

i might, actually.

there is this big deep sadness.

there is this big urgency to change.

and 2011 should be it.

i know in my heart that it can only get better.

it has to get better.

2010 was a good year. but 2011 is better. it will rock my pants out. i've been primed for that.

2010

Ang bilis ng panahon.

Ang bagal din ng panahon.

Pakiramdam ko ay napakaraming nangyari sa akin sa taong 2010.

Parang ang dami kong naging roles at ang dami kong pinagdaanan.

Ngayong binabalikan ko ang lahat, nararamdaman ko na ang bawat blessing na bigay ni God ay dapat kong pinahahalagahan.

Hindi dapat sayangin at balewalain.

Thankful ako sa 2010.

Buong puso akong nagpapasalamat sa swerte at tiwala. Nararamdaman ko ang halaga ng bawat salapi. Ng bawat pagsisikap...kailangang binibigyang halaga.

Nagsimula ang taon nang hindi maganda dahil sa pagkamatay ng Tita ko

Then rumaket ako sa Yummy Magazine as food writer. Dito naginterview ako at nagreview ng mga restaurants.

Then followed by the launch of Habang May Buhay

Matagal tinrabaho ang show na ito. Ang daming dinaanan, nagsulat ako mula week 1 to 6. Hanggang sa dulo naging brainstormer na lang. Nang matapos ang scripts ako ang nagtahi ng mga kwento. Edit. Ganyan. I also worked as promo specialist of the show.

Hanggang sa intay intay ng bagong shows, intay at gawa. Mahirap at nakakadishearten pag wala namang natutuloy.

So rumaket muna ako sa iba't ibang lugar.

First may website akong na-chance sa internet. Tawag dito Essays.ph. Ok dito kasi nagbabayad talaga sila. Isang project ay around 500 pesos. Nakaearn ako ng around 20 plus thousand habang nagsusulat dito. Hindi mo siya mamamalayan, marami ka na palang naiipon.

Then nakasulat din ako sa isang show sa TV5.

Nagtravel ako sa Marinduque nuong holy week.

Pagbalik ko tinrabaho ko ang Pat is Tin pero sadly hindi talaga siya tuloy.

Hanggang sa may niraket din akong Travel Show.

Hanggang sa mag-assistant director ako sa Ganap na Babae na opening film sa Cinemalaya 2010

After that, nabigyan ako ng three year contract last August.

Then nagsulat ako sa M3. Comedy show siya so first time ko magpatawa. Parang ang dali ng naging buhay ko sa show na ito kasi dalawang drafts lang approved na ang script. I wrote for about 5 scripts for the show. Humirap na lang nung bandang dulo dahil ang dami kong revision. Weird bumawi ang buhay. Kung gaano kahirap ang ginagawa ko sa Habang May Buhay dati siyang dali ng M3. Naenjoy ko ang show na ito.

After M3, nagbakasyon ako sa Iloilo at Guimaras. First time solo travel ko. Hindi pa ako nakakapunta dito ever. Happy naman at dami kong nadiscover about myself.

Ngayon December, may ilang proyekto pa ring tinatrabaho.

Nagkaaward ang Habang May Buhay sa Golden Dove Awards. Navindicate naman ako, kami kahit paano.

May raket sa special project.

Hopefully makabakasyon with my parents na ako ang gagastos para sa kanila. Treat ko para sa kanila yun.

Sana next year, makapagpaapprove ng bagong shows at makasulat ulit ng soap. Makainvest ng property. Ipon. More rakets. Hit shows. Spread my wings more and more. Again thank You Lord.

The Thorn in the Heart

visually beautiful. like moving still photos. i mean, moving vintage still photos. wait isn't movies supposed to be like that?

not the best day

san galing? i really don't know.

there is something missing. some things that is. those wonderful four things. i know what are those but i have to be certain for sure. ang dami kasing excuses. ang daming justifications at distractions! kilos na!

Pwedeng i to do list!

1. Go white water rafting in Cagayan de Oro.

2. Visit Batanes.

3. See Mt. Mayon up close.

4. Swim with the whale sharks in Donsol.

5. Climb Mt. Pulag and be awed by its sea of clouds.

6. Dive, swim and explore Palawan’s underground river.

7. Hike and let the view of Mt. Pinatubo crater take your breath away.

8. Party in your bikini/shorts in Boracay.

9. Surf’s up! Choose your wave—La Union, Zambales or Real, Quezon.

10. Missed out on the pristine beauty of Boracay 15 years ago? Visit Malapascua, Cebu.

11. Dive and see the rich marine life of Anilao, Batangas.

12. Travel back in time—go to Vigan.

13. Let Bohol wow you with its many offerings—the Chocolate Hills, the tarsier, the Loboc River Cruise, old churches and the beach.

14. Go high! Drive to the Mountain Province of Sagada. Check out the caves, the hanging coffins and enjoy the laidback lifestyle.

15. Grab a Viaje del Sol map, visit Ugu Binyan’s pottery studio, eat at Kusina Salud and unwind at Casa San Pablo.

16. Spend an entire week up north. Take a road trip from Manila to Vigan, Ilocos, Cagayan Valley, Aparri and Isabela!

17. Try wakeboarding in Camsur.

18. Check out Malate, Old Manila and all their secret spots.

19. There are many reasons to love Davao. Kublai’s artworks, its proximity to the beach, the tasty pastil and juicy suha. And did I mention that it’s a smoke-free city?

20. Spend a weekend roughing it in Anawangin and Capones in Zambales.

21. Check out our colorful fiestas and document them with your camera. Ati-atihan, Dinagyang, Masskara, Sinulog, Higantes, Panagbenga and more.

22. Pick your own strawberries at the Strawberry Fields in La Trinidad, Benguet.

23. Go to Pampanga for sisig.

24. If it’s too hot in Manila, grab a few friends and take a quick trip to Tagaytay.

25. Enjoy a food trip in Iloilo. You’ll never go hungry in this city

2011 Goals

Invest on Property:

Money is a blessing, and I think I've outgrown buying flashy gadgets with my money or spending money in malls. Instead, I eye long time investments instead of buying the new it phone, and I travel instead of spend on nightouts. I've saved money and I want to build a long time investment for myself. I'm eyeing a condo near my workplace...

Lose Weight/Healthy Lifestyle

This is important. Eat more fruits. Be generally fit. Mahirap pero dapat.

Travel Asia and Europe

I've been focusing my travel this year in the Philippines. And most of the places I've been to are not the usual travel destinations talk about Marinduque, Iloilo and Guimaras =). And I felt so blessed to visit these places. They have enriched me. So next year, I hope, with God's blessing, to explore more places I've never seen in Asia, and culminating to a dream vacay in Europe.

Shoot More Films

This year, I've participated again in Cinemalaya as assistant director for Ganap na Babae. God willing, I can participate and shoot more films next year.

Write More, Tell More and Bolder Stories

Need I say more? Writing for TV is my job, it is also my passion, my friend, my enemy. I want the fire to sizzle more next year and forever. I'm in a relationship with my job. But if God gives me a nice guy, he can be the icing on the cake ;)

End of the Year, End of a Chapter, End of an Era

2010 is a year of change. But not just change. It is a year of becoming. I've read a lot of articles saying that at some point in the 20's a person can reach a certain age. An age of becoming, of blooming, of an absence of insecurity. This is not necessarily a time to sit on one's laurels of being laid back or being complacent. Ironically this is a time when a person constantly turns in good work, inspired output. Inspite the consistency, this is also a time when a person is primed to do more, and comfortably do things differently, excitingly. When I think about 2010, I can't help but recall that article, of reaching that age vis a vis to my life right now. And I am thanking God for everything.

I had a great, fabulous year, I can run down each fabulous event for every month, but I can do that some other time. My mind is so abstract right now and can only grasp the concept of becoming. Hope you had a good year too. Thank God. And hoping for a more fabulous 2011.

romance in a take out box

ang hirap...i just rrealized i can't go on like this.

there is a reason why people want to couple up and cuddle. maybe not just only for the purpose of recreation, or security but maybe just maybe, being with a person just makes life a little less lonely. convenience man o availability.

may dahilan din kasi kung bakit ang tao ay nacreate nang mag-isa. Si God alam niya na kayang mabuhay nang mag-isa ang isang tao. Pero...pero...maraming mga bagay ang designed para sa dalawa.

Mga good for sharing na food, mga hotel room for two, ang magkabiyak na kalahating hearts na kapag pinagdugtong mo ay may mabubuong puso, popsicles na pag binali sa gitna ay pwedeng pandalawa, slice ng cheesecake na dapat ishare or else di mo kakayanin sa sobrang tamis, mga ulam or any food na dapat ishare dahil nakakaumay para iconsume ng isa. which makes me think, bakit may mga food na good for one pero mas masarap pag pinagsasaluhan? ganun din ba ang life?good for one pero mas masarap pag may kasalo ka?

ang tagal ko na ring mag-isa. three years siguro since the last pseudo relationship. hindi na ako sanay na magcare sa isang tao na hindi ko kamag-anak. o mga tao sa paligid ko na tinuturing kong kaibigan. minsan pa nga hindi ako nagiinvest ng concern o love, lalo na kapag alam kong wala akong makukuha in return. sa love kahit lugi ka na, go ka pa rin. kasi masaya ka eh.

sanay ako na may oras at panahon para lumandi...at ito ay kapag kelangan lang. hindi ko rin macarry ang demands ng ibang tao sa akin, lalo na ang supposedly karelasyon. bakit di nagtext, bakit hindi nakipagmeet? kapag ganito nagrerebelde ako. romance in a takeout box. yun yata ang kelangan ko.

until there are moments. pano ang mga moments na hindi mo pinagplanuhan. like ngayon. hindi ko pinlano na malulungkot ako ngayon, so walang nakaplano beforehand na landi. hindi naman ibig sabihin nuon ay libog na. so out of question ang alam mo na. sana nireciprocate ko muna ang texts at flirtation mula sa guy from my past o sa lalaking kakameet ko lang nung nagbakasyon ako para hindi sila magulat na itetext ko sila ngayon. ganun ang ibig kong sabihin. so anyway. mahirap din pala. let's see.

PFA

Last week I spent overnight with the most kickass and notorious group of friends, the PFA or prominent faces alliance. I didn't even know how we got called that, but I believe it was Dan who coined that phrase. Prominent Face is like a term we assigned to an individual who has this unreadable, relaxed, take charge face, kinda like poker face before even Lady Gaga made a song out of it, really. Which makes us visionaries of our time. Haha. Seriously it's a face of someone who's too cool to care, and that's just us. Too cool to care.

There are a lot of us, I think we are about ten or more as a whole. (Me, Riza, Ivy, Rose, Pops, Ana C, Dan, Ana D, Julie, Sherylou, Macho, and other honorary members Cath and Zianne). We're almost like a college org in number but we're really not. And it will exhaust you to read their profiles or how they mean to me. But collectively we're a bunch of crazy people who hung out a lot together in college because we are fun, cliquey and we love to make fun of people who we don't like. They're the bunch of friends who I used to run and lead for productions and we always ace everyone of them. =) We go to lunch together, gimmicks together and they have been with me through all the growing up phase of college and life.

To have a barkada in college is one of the best experiences ever. This means that you have a lot of people behind your back, who will support and stick with you. You have constant lunch mates and people to hang out with during the long breaks in between classes. I pity some classmates who do not have their own barkada back in college. I mean, the whole college experience is all about fun and trying out new things, and who else to experience this with but your college barkada?

They say that highschool experience is all about cliques and trying so hard to fit in. The barkada you have in highschool won't end up as a long time friend, but only a select few. College orgs and friends tend to be allied with you forever because by this time, you've selected your course which invariably meant, selecting the people to hang out with. When you start working however, everything is all about you and that your officemates could become friends but essentially you're competitors.

I'm thankful to have been with them during college, and to have a barkada like them to hold on to and to make me laugh. I am blessed to have them in my life back then and until now.

College happened and we went on with our careers and I believe I've had constant contact with almost everyone of them ever since we graduated. Some of them I regularly text and call for some weekend hangout, gym, and spa. Some of us had settled down and gotten married but are still consistently as kickass and prominent as ever.

After our little get together I've come to realize how thankful I was to have met them, to have gotten to know them. Sometimes work and single life makes me so self absorbed and self aware about little trivialities, which you will later realize that they are indeed, trivial. It also made me aware of my own ticking body clock as I have come to realize that there were only about four of us who were not married, three of us who were not in a relationship!

What's amazing with us is that, even if we are a handful, there is no bad blood, there are no little intrigues, it's just us, what you see is what you get. I guess that's what the whole phrase prominent face means, we look and act tough but deep inside you'll know how kind, cool, and how accepting we are of everyone we meet.

These people know me from head to foot, they know my quirks and my little idiosyncrasies and I know they love me for that. Haha. I just wish to spend more time with everyone of them regularly. But I'm thankful for the times I spend with some of them as it is. =)

Right now I am happy that everyone of us are in good places in life. Some are on top of their careers, others are happy starting their own families, and Rose is pregnant! See everyone of you again in December! Stay prominent!

zoning out

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to zone out, reflect, meditate and collect myself and my thoughts...and I got lucky because I did this in Iloilo and Guimaras. Until now, when I look at the photos, I feel giddy inside, which makes me think that I want to do this again.

Why did I travel alone? It's just like why dogs lick their balls. Because they can.

1. makes me more responsible, alert. it's like adrenaline on a take out box where my senses are heightened tenfold.

2. i made new acquaintances! im iffy about calling them friends because i think i am a closet snob, but who cares. a student of marine biology who's in his 30's from Bacolod, and a couple from Marikina made my stay in Guimaras more fun

3. i discovered that I am such an OC organizer! I even exhaust myself

4. i consider this a blessing and a wonderful opportunity, like a nudge at my financial independence. i feel happy that i was able to sustain my existence for four days alone.

5. i got to know myself better. yes, and she's bad. hahahaha.

There. They are shallow, even for me, but i'm a sensory person like that. =)

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

“Why tell your grandkids you worked 9-5, five days a week for 40 years and quietly sat in traffic jams while people went to war, suffered disease and shot their own classmates? Tell them you refused to live in fear. Tell them you crossed the Amazon, saw the Lost Cities of Gold and met your soul mate in Casablanca. Travel to the ends of the earth. Go now and live adventures that will make your grandkids proud.”

crisis situation

i find myself finished with all the deliverables and now i have nothing else to do.

i am panicking it's like my mind begs to do something.

i'm spinning like a top.

be thankful

wishlist

1. car. i'd prefer a second hand sedan. some mid-range type. it'll just be a car to get around with.

2. macbook air. the 11 inches baby. ive never realized that i've been waiting for this until it came.

3. read my the hunger games book.

4. blackberry torch or iphone 4

5. canon 95

Break

enchanted kingdom with direk rica and Ganap na Babae gang was fun!

Now 2 days break and my mind is spinning like a top. ang daming iniisip.

realized too that organizing reunion is tiring shit. mas naiistress pa ako dito kesa pagsusulat. it makes you want to resent things. but this is for a bigger purpose.

excited for the southern trip. believe it or not, first time ko sa visayas. but i hope i am prepared enough and discover some lesser known places. ooooohhh.

November Rain

It's the 29th of October, and I have a full day ahead of me...like sitting inside my room and typing out words until tomorrow, which would've been fun and fantastic because I happen to love what I do.

But sometimes you gotta say no.

I am asking God mentally, if what I did was wrong, or if I am saying no to a blessing, but I trust that He is guiding my decisions...and He will always know that my decisions are stemmed from what is inside my heart. May nagsabi nga sa akin na mali lang ang desisyon kung hindi mo ito mapaninindigan.

Whenever I pray in church during the part where we kneel and ask for personal wishes, I always tell God to give me what I deserve. I've used it the first time last August. And it has been working for me since ;)

Couple of things lined up at work and I am excited to get down and dirty. I always thank the Lord for the love and the blessings...and I make it a point to get down and dirty and be in the middle of things whenever I have new projects. And I know God knows that. He will give me what I deserve.

My 2nd M3 episode is showing tomorrow. Halloween episode. Funny and scary! And fun!

Tomorrow will be the start of the Halloween break, and I feel like a spinning totem. I don't know what to do! Haha.

I am rambling now, my mind is full of a thousand and one things. I think I have short attention span. Before I can even write the words I am already thinking of other things. How about that?

october thoughts

i've submitted by third script for M3. Sana magustuhan nila.

ngayon lang ulit ako nakablog...namiss ko ito. ang dami ko pa namang kwento

ngayong marami akong pera hindi ako makatravel.

sometimes naiisip ko, bakit hindi ko i-carry yung magtatravel ako nang may deadline? tipong pagdating sa destination, saka ko sisimulan ang script tapos since halos lahat sa pinas may internet, i-email ko na lang.

pero hindi e.

i guess i see travel as a reward. tipong hindi mo naman maeenjoy kapag yung utak mo nasa ibang bagay.

sabi nga sa God Wants You to Know facebook app ko nung isang araw, parang appreciate ko naman daw ang nature, ang saya sa paligid ko. hindi ko napublish ewan ko ba.

sana magawa ko siya sa Halloween Break. Kaso wala din akong plano. Ayaw ko sumabay sa break ng maraming tao. Baguio ang naiisip ko, pero meron naman daw bagyo in Baguio. Saan kaya ako pupunta?

So anyway nag-ggygym ako sa Gold's at may trainer pa. Wahahah. Good luck talaga. Sana magtuloytuloy na to.

Sana mapuntahan ko ang mga lugar na ito before the year ends:

Pagudpud

Cebu - Bohol

Iloilo- Guimaras

Baguio

Then next year:

HK

Thailand-Cambodia

Korea

Beijing

Indonesia (Bali and Borobodur)

God willing. Mappuntahan ko ang mga places na yan. Isama pa ang Paris and Prague dream ko before my 30th.

Nakapagpabook na rin ako ng hotel ko for my solitary HK on Feb. Yung friend ko kasi hindi pwede bilang Mendoza ang apilido nya kaapelido nung nanghostage. Excited ako sa trip na to.

Hindi ako makatulog pero puyat ako.

comedy writer

In the past years that I have been writing for television, it's my first time to write for a comedy series.

I wrote for variety shows, for talkshows. Only in 2007 that I had the opportunity to write for drama or narrative programs. And they are all melodrama.

But personally, I am a sitcom fanatic. Sitcoms are one of the best things ever because they are so light, silly and petty. I loved American sitcoms and even the local ones! I used to watch them even more as a kid compared to telenovelas.

And when i wrote my first script for M3: Malay Mo Madevelop, it felt like a breeze. The whole script was romantic and comedic at the same time. The script was approved after two drafts.

The second episode that I wrote for the show is going to be read tonight. Tomorrow is the feedback day. I wonder what will happen. I am positive....thank You Lord.

http://www.watchpinoytube.com/abs-cbn/m3-malay-mo-madevelop/7131/m3-malay-ma--develop-september-18,-2010.html watch it here

in a good place

i admit, everything's turning up. and i've learned valuable lessons from the past.

the workings of the universe is surreal, and absurd but most likely purposeful.

everyday I am thanking Him for the blessings I am receiving. My heart wants to burst open.

I just want to hug everyone.

My positivity is not pinned down by lazy contentment, but I believe it comes from within. Thank you Lord for the stability without complacency but with this solid ground.

today

i am going to abs to give my contract, signed sealed and delivered.

we fear the fear of failure than failure itself

July 18 - finished deadline, premiere and binyag

July 19 - finish deadline

July 20 - meeting with client

July 21 - presentation

July 22 - EK

Here it is my 3rd AD job. I want to be a director soon

revisions galore

i will be glued to the laptop screen for one whole day

Ganap na Babae

JULY 9 6PM GALA PREMIERE: OPENING FILM FOR THE CINEMALAYA INDEPENDENT FILM FESTIVAL 2010. LET'S SUPPORT FILIPINO FILMS =))

TEAM EOS
DIRECTOR: RICA AREVALO
DP: GIAN CALUAG/ GYM LUMBERA
PRODUCTION MANAGER: KAT PASIGAN
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: BRIDGETTE REBUCA
PRODUCTION DESIGNER: ALLY SUN

Magkaribal

i love it! here's the thing, i watch the network's soaps mostly for monitoring stuff and because i work developing soaps and writing for them. mostly i find some soaps formula and classic, and others make a big deal out of nothing at all. what impressed me about the show is a lot of things. I'm very visual and this show got me merely by their OBB. haha. i hope it wouldnt wind somewhere in the end.

im a really advocate of milieu seryes. the milieu is really a character.

im now testing casino games as a job

i miss writing for TV

My show already said goodbye, and now I'm angsting for this afternoon show that we are supposed to be doing but keeps getting delayed. So there, I just want to say it.

just found this somewhere

“Creativity is born from anguish, just like the day is born from the dark night. It’s in crisis that inventive is born, as well as discoveries, and big strategies. Who overcomes crisis, overcomes himself, without getting overcome. Who blames his failure to a crisis neglects his own talent, and is more respectful to problems than to solutions.

the seoul drama award website blurb i passed for the nomination says this

BRIDGETTE M. REBUCA started out as a concept developer in ABS-CBN, then as a writer for a showbiz-oriented talk show called “Showbiz no.1”. She also wrote for“Little Big Star”(season 1-3) a reality-talent search show that aims to highlight the drama of discovering kiddie singers, including world-renowned Charice Pempengco. She eventually worked as contributing writer for afternoon drama (“Prinsesa ng Banyera” /“Ligaw na Bulaklak”), and conceptualized “Kung Fu Kids”, a children’s action fantasy series. She currently writes and brainstorms for the primetime teleserye “Habang May Buhay”, and for a new afternoon show that is still in development.

i wonder what happened

the waiting game

it's like a hunk a gal like me can't resist. he can sleep with me and leave me hanging the next morning. or worse he can foreplay with me without giving me orgasm and yet i keep coming back. abusive. arrogant and inconsiderate.
yes we are in bad romance.

i am romancing other things now, and im so sure that when he comes knocking again i'll drop everything in a heartbeat.

damn.and the next time that happens i will ask him to marry me and sign that contract damnit.

raaaaket!

game show raket! and this time with some writers i havent worked with for the longest time.

im excited. zooper

what i've been watching

Grey's anatomy finale! - the finale is better than the whole series! GA has mastered the art of the season finale

Mad Men - wow! my favorite!

Chuck - my comfort series

Currently Watched:

Away we go - big director trying to be small and create fragile characters but failed big time

Prince of Persia - the usual. makes me hungry for kebab and persian places so we headed to Mr Kabab after

eggziting!

if only the episode VCD is not hanging! arrrgh.
will deal with this on Sunday.

for now preparing for day 3 shoot of Ganap na Babae

writer's studio project

i got a lappy and i am ordering a tarpaulin with the city of paris printed on it that should cover my entire wall!

i like

its best to be enterprising these days
makes me wanna make pagawa a calling card.
what should it contain?

Bridgette Rebuca
drama writer/magazine writer/freelance writer
filmmaker/photographer

facebook is getting old

and BADUY. with pa-cool people who talk about nothing but their boring jobs. and speak in vernacular. im a closet racist. so kill me.

why do i write?

writing, especially for drama is an exercise of the heart. of emotion. i think i have a bourgeois mindset, i am too polite, i want good things that i assume that the world is a mom who hugs people who weep and not push them downwards. i see tragedy from the boob tube or the silverscreen. that's why to write from the heart is a hard pursuit. who am i to invent a life people should watch? is writing borne out of masochism or megalomaniac follies? every week you open your heart out and serve them on a silver platter just to get the words and the right emotions out. every week you cry, because of the scene you wrote. and it's all vicarious. it's not as if these things happened to me, but i weep for the tragedy of the character that i am writing for, i weep for the injustices of the world. and when people cry for her, i feel one with her. it's a personal job. it is a job, still. it's all untrue. but there is a lot of you in the program you're writing for. there's a piece of your heart in there. and that's precisely why i write. not to get hurt, not to experience a bigger world, but to feel and to care for something else. who cares if people watch, who cares? i do it precisely because i feel and i share. i invent. i create. is it to get those sleeping lethargic demons out? is the locust of my personality exterior to me? do i write so that i can be proud of myself? or just so people would envy this job, or so that people could be proud of me? no. i don't give a crap about writing to entertain, either. first things first - i write for myself. it is completely selfish. but i write because i want to, i write because i feel. i write because i care and i love.

Another Into the Wild Quote

I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.

Peggy Olson

grows on me. such an ambitious little minx,. i love her! i cant wait for season 4! Man Men is my current favorite series!

shoot!

1. i like being called Ms.and Direk
2. i like blocking and directing the talents
3. i like explaining and motivating the actors, comes naturally to me as i am firstly a writer
4. i like shooting the establishing shots and non wordy scenes by myself with the DOP
5. i hate operating the clapper
6. the long hours can be taxing
7. i like that im getting physical exercise
8. i like the burning pain after a whole day shoot
9. i like the finished product
10. i wanna do this again

my legs hurt

hibernate

shake shake

there are seven things i need to make a post about

1. Habang May Buhay post mortem

2. Indie movie project with this former boss

3. indie short film AD project for Ganap na Babae

4. online writing raket SOON

5. my itch to have my own pad with my friend elaineplim

6. second novel.

7. pitching to TV 5 this travel show as my sideproject

8. afternoon show ABS
**********

debrief

ok masrap magpakalunod sa election aftershock lalo pa holiday nung lunes pero hellow!!! masarap makipagkurokuro all week long ano discussing about politics pero bridge sad to say back to work na happy naman dont get me wrong.

after an election aftershock i was put in a grueling meeting with the minds with this veteran. brainstorm-storman na naman ng concept para sa indie. love at drama. pucha. love at drama daw o

okay. happy naman with this new short project, mag-e-AD another ako. ok naman sha. ocular on friday.

at tapos na rin ako sa afternoon concept! sana naman matuwa sila!

*********

waiting for this week:
- editing sked for travel show
- friday ocular for short

*********

to do until tomorrow:
- pocketbook pa din
- indie script
- magazine

**********

btw may Noy movie na pala ano. produced by abs. kaloka.

i voted!

and im proud of it! shame on the people who think nothing but themselves and didn't even vote! what a waste of space in this country.

hay. so noynoy will win.

there's nothing to do really.

i'll just be a good person and good citizen of this country.

and finish my WORK.

thank you.

raket tomorrow and i cant concentrate on my pocketbook project revision bec of these election news! hay Pilipinas. Mahal kita kaya ayaw kong mapunta ka sa mga bobong lider. pero mahihimasmasan din ako.

VP and Senators

i mean, minsan napapailing ako sa pagiging passive ng mga tao. parang wala bang mahalaga sa kanila kung hindi ang kanilang mga sarili? o ang mga trabaho nila? kung hindi ka boboto, wala kang karapatang magreklamo. change begins in you. ung iba hindi nagparehistro. Jusko.

anyway.

For VP: MAR ROXAS. no question na lang ako dito. I mean, ibigay na natin sa kanya since hindi naman sya nagrun na for presidency. At saka, he strikes me as someone na kung sino ang maging presidente nya they will work harmoniously. He is stateman like, may integridad at saka ganun naman talaga dapat pag VP hindi ba, yung tipong you will work under the president, you will work diligently who ever your president is.

Kaya I can see a good combination between Gibo-Mar. Parehong bata at parehong new. Energetic at youthful ang bansa natin pag ganun. Ang ganda at positive.

Ok din ang Gordon-Mar. Though bubully-hin lang sya ni Gordon. Which is ok lang dahil kakayanin naman ni Mar sumabay sa aggressiveness na if not he will balance it out.

No to Loren and Binay. Unfair kasi hindi ko kilala si Binay e. Pwede namang automatic Mar na lang diba.

*********

Senatoriables naman

1. Adel Tamano - pwede namang maging shallow diba? cute kasi. At saka from the progress i saw sa PLM since he became president, he will do well.

2. Miriam Santiago - when I was a kid during the presidential elections i wished i were older para naboto ko sya. we need someone like her sa senate. kahit luma na sya basta feeling ko dahil parang senior ang dating sya. medyo tame na nga rin sya which i kinda like. gusto ko lang ang pagiging matalino nya.

4. Lisa Maza - fan ako ng Gabriela at basta babae at basta someone who champions women's rights get my full support

5. Satur Ocampo - satur ocampo, magsasaka at isa sa mga nagaklas nung martial law, formed National democratic front.

6. wala na akong maisip. ay si Risa Hontiveros - maganda at saka babae. At saka mukhang ok naman sya.

7. Pia Cayetano - makabagong pulitiko ang dating niya sa akin at mukhang hindi naman nila sinasayang ang boto parehong active

8.sonia roco

9. Gilbert remulla

10. Bongbong Marcos - kasi crush ko sya. haha babaw. dapat ang mga marcos hindi na ibinabalik, pero loyalista ang Papa ko at taga Ilocos saka ang sabi nya madami magandang nagawa talaga si Bongbong sa Ilocos Region. Besides new politics ito, naniniwala ako na nakaya andyan si Bongbong dahil para sa Ilocos at para na rin sa magagandang proyektong pwede nyang gawin diba? at saka hanggang senator lang sya kung presidente ibang usapan na un.


11. wala pa. devoted ang dalawang slot sa mga old-timers. either enrile. guingona or drilon. pero im leaning on drilon. tapos wala na

rubi red to match

excited for my new dell inspiron!!!! you will be in my arms next month! damage na naman! pero kelangan e!!!

after this all set to ipon for my GETZ!!!

i want a writer's studio

my mind is a mishmash

okay i just finished last minute voice over to tie a rather confusing and loosely tied finale of this soap opera.

i haven't finished the pocketbook yet
i haven't finished the new concept for afternoon yet
and later i'll meet with a new magazine project
and voice over for this proposed Travel show next week.
and script for an indie screenplay

im still hanging but i can't seem to finish everything. maybe because i prioritize some things too much which is not bad. but still.gotta finish my pocketbook project and new concept tomorrow - deadliest deadline of them all. bow.

Travel Show

it's my dream to have a travel show. and i hope this pushes through. i will forever love TV5 for this if it happens. voice over dubbing next week

IT LIST

after months im back!

What I watched, in no particular order (not counting the Oscar's playlist which I'll repost from my old, forgotten blog)

It's Complicated
lovely!!!! Meryl Streep is Meryl Streep!!!

KickAss
it kicked ass!!! i love

Shutter Island
amazing visuals, very goth, a little predictable especially at the third act

The Cove
the horror.

Babe I love You
not good. ive lost faith in Star Cinema movies because of this. seriously. not worth the money and effort anymore. the tipping point.

The Secret In Your Eyes
many said its too mainstream. but not!

Date Night
funny! feel good

Rusalka
quite kitschy. plus there's a naked fat woman at the start. doesn't look like me. im waaaay better in form. hahaha. shallow.

That Malaysia Bea-JLC film...oh..I really forgot the title
The third act ruined everything

Listening to:
Kesha
Charice Pempengco
and Mozart and Bach. seriously!

Reading:
Lonely Planet Unpacked
Eat Pray Love
Fear of Flying
and
Women, Sex and Addiction

Mad Men break

im revisiting season 1 (well i only watched about five episodes of season 1) so i am revisiting season 1 and 2

i love...DON DRAPER and JOAN HALLOWAY!!! Christina Hendricks bring the curvy women to the fore!

of course i love Midge that beatnik character

these American writers are just great.

Meanwhile let me go back to chicklit Pinoy style while i struggle to breathe in my battered lungs, cold-infested sinuses and tonsilitis. damn this weather.

so i

just finished this poetry collection, a commissioned work.

Pat is tin week 2, soon.

this weekend:

will set my mind into writing this new opportunity to have a pen name. where can i find inspiration to be kilig??? over the weekend! 100 pages of Tagalog pocket book romance here we go as in literal.

a concept that will replace Magkano ang iyong Dangal, will have to submit on Monday also.

press releases and sales for Habang may Buhay


prepare for a meeting for a new commissioned work on Monday

Secret Diary of a call girl season 2

heart ache!!!!
ughhhhhhhhhh

I can sympathize with Ben. Haaay.

A Puddle

One day I saw my mirror.
While he is crying by the hospital bed.
My ideal character beside me
She was dry.
But I thirst for his liquid.

That turned into this beating human inside me,
As the puddle mirrors me
I unconsciously splashed myself.

With his sweat. blood. tears.
And by the chillingly cold corridors

We both cried.

While the puddle of liquid

Of lost life ,

That was wiped away and put

Into white gauze and thrown,

Into a black plastic bag,

Cry as loud.

out of blog theme thought

what if i start a fashion blog? aliw yung fat nurse and fat shopaholic fashion blogs na nababasa ko!!!!!!!!!!!!

writing assignments

my life is all about...mellow laidback bored mellow tamang chill na busy...mellow to busy busy BUSY!!!

nang walang pasabi.

will work on:
- poems/play submission for this contest
- short romance novel submission for a raket
- indie screenplay assignment na ang tagal tagal nang hindi ko pa nagagawa dahil tamad ako magresearch at dahil wala pa akong naeepiphanize. paano ako magkakaepiphany eh wala pa nga akong research?
- at ang pagbabasa ng pilot week ng aking bagong show
- at ang meeting na aattendan ko on tues for another new show
- may isa pang magazine raket sa apr 28

jusko sana kayanin ko lahat ito over the bday weekend. pero happy!!! maraming opportunities!!!
kelangan ko lang bumalik sa passion mode...mahirap at matagal ang briefing ko pag ganyang napapahinga ako sa passion projects ko. Aminin, syempre ang una nating ginagawa pag may mga assignments ay yung mga mabilisang bagay na may bayad at sweldo. yung mga pangcontest diba naiipon ang passion at kapag kung kelan malapit na saka nag-kacram.

exciting din itong novel submission nato - isa sa writers dito eh idol ko sa indie e.

so anyway come on bridge, passion projects gogogo!!!
two new shows work workwork!!!

tama na ang pagkahumaling sa travel. hahaha.

di naman. naaliw nga ako in fact 29 dollars na ang naiearn ng blog ko!!! www.pinaywandergirl.blogspot.com gogogo!!!! happy!!!! click here!

pero for now, trabaho at passion muna!!!

I was laughing at my first post

It's April and I haven't turned in a good screenplay yet. Sir Bing will kill me. I probably won't turn over a decent screenplay at all because of my busy-ness over work and my expensive vice which is traveling.

Palanca's deadline is on the 30th. And I created something (not a screenplay). Actually not created something, but actually revised something which i already did before.

Whatever that means.

passion post

pardon the passion post. my heart swells, and anytime its gonna burst.

traveling will be as necessary and as central to this new thing im working on. my heart swells. it's near. last night was fun...and inch by inch closer...this is a humungous thing. and a leap from my status...i've never wanted anything else...last time i felt genuine passion was when i was fighting for Habang May Buhay to air. i feel my toes tingling...

I feel blessed with projects that I have emotional attachment with or meant something to me personally. Well MTV is for music, SN1 is for showbiz and Little Big Star seasons are for music and for discovering talent. Banyera was a tribute to Batangas where I grew up (HMB is Batangas too haha), Ligaw na Bulaklak was a tribute to horse racing, and a play on the experimental film i did in college which was about "bukis". KFK was for kids and my fascination with Chinese. The Wedding is the most contemporary which reflected some of my philosophies and dilemmas on love, HMB is for nursing and my mom and concept and pathos of infidelity. And this current show for the network is for big people like me hehe. And the other one is the very first fantasy show. And now this current travel thing...my God. And this food magazine writing... im so excited...my heart swells.

just when i thought im too dried up...i can feel the beat that my heart skipped.

people in the restaurant last night, whom i overheard. they are eager to go home to catch the show...people emailing me for the articles i did. seeing my name on the tv screen, on the byline. i don't know what is...is it pride? is it prestige? is it passion? fame? love? i don't know.

and the minute i go to bed at dawn today, i realized, i am so in love with what i do...that i am so fired up to do more. bigger. bolder. higher. that loving it so much makes me realize and feel that i am not ready to let this go. i love this. i love it. ive come to the stage where i'm in love with it that it's unbearable to do anything else. it is. i don't know why exactly. it's hard to explain. and i don't know what sparked it, what made me realize it, that im in it for the long haul. that i love it. that im ready to fight for it, to defend it, protect it. feel raw about it.

and to me accepting it is hard... much more to declare. it took a lot of stuff to realize this. to embrace this self-realization. for me it's a sign of vulnerability. that acceptance of loving something so much it makes you cry. gone are the days of pa-cool. of pseudo hating the masa stuff and trying to be higher. have i matured? stripped off of pretensions? but this is it. i am immersed. i am in love. i truly, genuinely love what i do. and it's a blessing already - knowing finally what you love. secondly is doing it, soaking in the thing that you love. and the third thing is enjoying it especially when it's loving you back.