Young Adult

I find myself watching Young Adult written by Diablo Cody and directed by Jason Reitman. Talk about Juno. I find myself regressing.

pause

i thank YOU for this opportunity and i won't waste it.
I just need guidance and strength to do this, and do this well.
Stop my impostor syndrome.
Everybody feels this way from the start
Anxiety should not happen because I have the skills.
I can do this

manipulative

I am guilty of this. But I want to call it being strategic, than being manipulative. Or maybe, being dramatic is one. I always fancy myself to be the heroine, the damsel in distress, the underdog who is going to beat all the demons in the end. And I thank God for the strength. I thank my inspiration, too. :)

That moment before the moment

You know that moment, when someone tells you, "Good luck, kaya mo yan." and then squeezes your hand to encourage you, looks into your eyes with smiley eyes like that, a face that doesn't break out into a smile that easily which makes his smiles more meaningful, and who has always been there for you, and trusted you, makes you want to succeed and do better. God, maybe I am inspired. And you inspire me big time. I want you to be around me always. You're good for me. We can be great together. Haha. Or maybe what I'm feeling is  not really romantic, maybe it's all in my head. Whatever it was I felt that moment, and the moment after, and when I lay in bed like this, that makes me want to google your sunsigns and mine, that makes me want to push for that 150lbs, are all good things, and whatever outcome all this may have in the end, at least i'll be 100 lbs lighter than my original weight, and at least I'll have a crack at contract renewal and getting promoted, all because you inspire me. So that's enough I guess. All things you and I talked about lead up to that golden moment, worth a blog and a tweet, and I would suffer endlessly to have another of those golden, sweet moments. The moment before the moment. And yes, the sweet victory was for you, sweets, for trusting me, for inspiring me. I want you to be around me every time I face these battles, so that I'd win them, always.