So over a month ago, I got into Tinder. I have hearted a few and exed a lot, but I havent really met anyone of substance. Well, there is this guy that I met named K.
He is equally big boned so to speak, but the thing about K is that he's married but separated and he has a two year old daughter.
I met him one weekend. We were supposed to meet the weekend before that but he canceled. So I never answered any of his calls and messages.
The coming weekend, without any money, he decided to meet me. I was shocked because he was big, but he has this aura around him, a bossy, dangerous aura. He's got big tattoos over his arms. he was wearing a red shirt and he has some nice kicks to go with it. he has a nice watch. Pretty cool.
So we got to walking around the mall and talking. I was a nervous wreck. It was my first time to actually meet a guy over this dating app, so I was nervous, sweaty and awkward. I wasnt attracted physically, because he's big, sweaty and shit. Callous and even a little rash and domineering.
We got into a Starbucks, and I bought myself a skinny latte. We sat outside, he talked while I smoked. And man, how can someone have so much relationship past in just a year?
He managed to be married, lived in, had a child and had a couple more relationships after?
And then when it was my turn to talk, i was stunned. I only have had serious relationship in 2008. but i lied and told him it was two years ago. Damn.For a writer my life is hella boring.
That got me into thinking. I should be more open about this. This dating thing. I need more material. I was envious of this guy who never pined. Who lived fast and dangerously.
The guy is as big as hell but he's so confident, daring and brash. I decided I don't like him and that he has so many hangups going on.
So i told him, I am not like him. I am an introvert in essence. I can be fun and shit but only with people I am comfortable with. I rarely speak. what i want to say is in my mind and you have to be worthy of me before i tell you anything.
So we went home. It was really cringingly awkward. No commitments of ever continuing this shit. But as I was riding the taxi home I was damn! i want this guy. In bed yes. but in my life? undecided.
i didnt expect that he will text me. but he did, while I was in the taxi going home. I told him to take care and it was nice meeting him. He asked if we could meet again. So I said yes.
We scheduled impulsively to meet the next day. But I chickened out. I became scared. So I offered up a lame excuse and said I cannot go.
The next day, he posted weird things in facebook like he's disappointed that somebody has promised him something but didn;t follow through and shit - as if pertaining to me. but i didn't call him out. He PMed me and we promised to meet saturday, with anticipation of horizontal dancing on the menu. I was in a meeting and we are practically playing the game of seduction. I was being carefree and shit. But I was a little scared, but nevertheless, psyched with the booty call date.
But today I got no text, no nothing from him,.
See usually, I get a message from him in the morning. Even before I wake up. Today is 29th and he's gonna get his salary and promised me that he will treat me. but he never followed through.
I feel a little offended, well, my ego mostly. but whatever. Maybe he never liked me when he met me that Saturday. Maybe we just didn't click. I wasn't composed. but how will compose myself when your date asked you to meet at a mall, without any promise that he will wine and dine you? WTF is that?!
He has so many issues and complicated past. My relationship history was very straightforward and simple. It can't have worked.
At the back of my mind, I thought, hey, maybe he can see me as this welcome change in his life. This good girl nerdy writer girl who just wants to shake things up a bit. Well, it's over before it started and I guess, he's not that into me.
There are so many reasons why I shouldn't be attracted to him. He's stingy, he has no money, he works in a freaking call center, he has a child and he's still married legally. he seems to be caught up with his past. he's just bad news period. not the type to bring home to mom. why allow myself to get involved with him?
i'm a little sad because he could be fun. i was attracted. and yes, who doens't love bad boys? but i guess it's nature's way of saving me from whatever obsession and pain.
And today he kept updating his fb with freaking love-related status. I bet he's romancing somebody else on tinder. The hell with him. Fucking player.
to be continued or on to the next?
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