Fuglies

It's funny how a fugly person acts. Maybe it's defense mechanism, but the nerve of guys who would ogle other girls in front of their girlfriend. Red fucking flag.
The thing is, I was the one who downgraded. The nerve of this fucking guy to actually still look at other girls. What the fuck. Maybe that's what he wants and what he needs. And I will never settle for that kind of douche.
I freaking danced, caught his attention just to keep him fucking entertained. and that's what I'll get?! I'm not your freaking buddy mister.
whatever. It could be I'm freaking insecure. But I have the right to be, and to hell with people who think I shouldn't feel that way.
I fucking deserve someone better. This dude is a douche. And no more turning back. A-hole.

Plans

1. Watch movie then maybe eat at Zabo Chicken

2. Hanayo Grill (treat him with buffet)

3. Crazy Katsu

4. Tornado Peri Peri

5. Jog at UP then foodtrip Lonnga Rep

6. Hanamaruken Ramen

7. Ramen Nagi

8. The Food Club

9. Planet Grapes

10. Chili's

11. Tagaytay Baguo etc

Exclusively Dating The Nurse - 2 Months, 15 Dates, 4 Times.

Recounting the dates with Mr. Nurse.

First date: June 30. We met at Coffee Bean tea leaf in Trinoma. It was blind, but at least everything was eezy peezy because I wasn't as nervous as I was when I began dating. I was wearing a black dress, and he was in black also. After little getting to know you at Coffee Bean, we moved to Gilligans because there were no more stores open at the time. Had sisig and mojito.

Second date: We met at TYA, I had two mojitos and 1 vodka 7. I was wearing a miniskirt and black sheer dressy top. Drunk and tipsy, we kissed in the cab and I didn't go home immediately.

Third date: There was a storm at the time, and yet we decided to meet at Starbucks in Trinoma, we talked for hours. I was wearing a purple dress. First time I paid for the both of us because I was late and I cancelled our third date beforehand.  We kissed and made out in the cab. (July 13) He told me he loved me.

Fourth date: We met at Starbucks in Skygarden. I was wearing black pants gray top and jacket. There was also some MOMOL going on. He bought me snack treats.

Fifth date: Short break, went to Gilligans for some beer. I was wearing an orange top and miniskirt. He gave me some candies.

Sixth date: We went to Tomato Kick in Maginhawa. I was in my jogging attire.Had 1 beer. Jogged and made out in the middle of UP Acad Oval. Renewed some bumps along the way.

Seventh date: He fetched me from ABS Starbucks, I was wearing the purple dress again. We went to UP and parked the car and MOMOX'ed.

Eighth date: I was supposed to go to UP and meet him there, but it's hard to find a cab so he went to Skygarden instead. I was super annoyed and stressed! I was wearing a ghastly pair of jeans, and black top. I gave him half a dozen donuts.

Ninth date: He fetched me from ABS, I was wearing a black dress. Went to Senor Pollo for mojito and quezadillas.. And then, second time that I didn't go home right away. (July 30). I told him I love him.

Tenth date: I went to Maginhawa St and met him. I was wearing pants and red top.We went to Z Compound, had a coke and fries.

Oh my God. We already had 10 dates and I guess this is the stage when one can say that we are exclusively dating :)

Eleventh Date: I was in Kitchen of Cakes and Coffee, working. Wearing black pants. He treated me pasta dinner.

Twelfth Date: We had dinner at Taisho Ramen. I was wearing jeans and black top. We shared a bowl of ramen.

Thirteenth date: We had burger at Kithchen of Cakes and Coffee. His birthday. 3rd wink :) August 20

Fourteenth date: I went to visit him at his eatery in UP. It was a nice set up. I was wearing a black sheer romper. 4th wink. August 25

Fifteenth date: I went to UP again and ate burger and mojos and fries. Went to TYA after and I was freaking annoyed that he ogled other girls! WE BREAK UP.

***********

The Nurse

I met The Nurse last June 30. Truth be told I was not interested in him because let's say his looks are lacking and he's not exactly my type. But he's been genuinely nice and sweet and every inch a gentleman.
My issue now is he said the L word on the third date. And on the fourth date, I told him I really really like him and now I feel he has lost interest in me. Just a little. He doesn't ask me out anymore and thinks I will automatically ask him out or plan the dates.
Today I will wait for him to ask me out or ask me when I'm free. :)

i hope it's not any indication that i would blend into nothingness after a year.
i want to freaking shine next year, i hope i hope i hope

empty

hay. i don't want to play the insignificant person card. i want to be visible and great and brilliant. i want to be challenged to do great.
i don't know if i'd feel relieved or sad that i won't be the one to present that concept. I hope it gets approved though. the two concepts, so that i'd get to write. Also, i hope na makuha ako dun sa isang running show. :) Help me Lord.

Restlessness

I don't know what is going on.
But I hope there is no looming surprise somewhere.
My heart feels like it's been beaten
I am nothing but bruises.
I want a break.
A big break.
I want to do more of this.
Why is it suddenly so elusive?